Well, it depends on what you mean by “soon”. Yes, I expect a visit. It's happened before. Time is relative... We may think we've been waiting forever while for another civilization, it has been only moments. I trust that a visit will happen at the perfect “now” for all of us. ;)
Question : “For the last 3-4 years I've encountered what to all including myself is lack, yet within it I know I have all I need. We haven't lost our home, pets are fed, gas tank gets filled, refrigerator too, somewhere there's still that voice that tells me I must "Do" something to change the situation and every time I do or attempt to do, in order to get, it falls apart...
I have been personally challenged by an obsession for a man that could be my son! Sometimes I get entangled in wondering about possibilities but lately I've decided he's purpose is to distract me from my goal... Am I kidding myself??”
Wow, lots of questions here...
Lack is defined as: “the fact or condition of not having enough; shortage; deficiency – the fact or condition of not having any; complete absence.”
In your own words “I know I have all I need”. So either the definition of lack is not understood by you and “all”, or you are not being truthful. I suspect it is a misuse of the word, and perhaps what is perceived as “lack” is in fact an amount that does not meet your expectations.
You want more than enough. You are seeking comfort. What you have now isn't what you used to have or isn't what you'd hoped you would be enjoying at this point in your life. Here's the thing. As we move forward towards autonomy and sovereignty and responsibility and agape, it challenges us on every level. How we define the challenge will define how we feel. WE decided to change things and to do so, well, means change. This is change we have to own.
If you listened to a voice or feeling that told you you had to “do” something about getting rained on, you'd either open an umbrella or stand under an awning. You wouldn't stay there, dripping wet, saying “every time I DO something to get dry, it falls apart”. No, you'd get yourself protected or get wet. Not once did you think the responsibility for your dryness was anyone’s but yours, so you took care of it.
If you truly believed the responsibility for “doing something to change the situation (of lack)” was yours, then you would do it. Case closed. So, again, either you don't believe you are suffering any sort of lack or you don't believe it's your responsibility. Either way, the answer is to change your mind and look at your beliefs with wide open eyes. Be content out loud if you really are, or be clear on whose job it is to change it. Either way, act on your true inner beliefs and you will have a great deal more success.
As far as your young man is concerned, there is never “kidding”, as all imaginings are occurring, if not in this time-line, then in some parallel reality. All possibilities exist. Period. It is up to you whether or not you choose to experience them in this specific time-line, the one where you are also struggling with definitions of lack.
Again, how do you define yourself? Be clear, as your heart only speaks the truth. If there is any connection felt between you, age will not matter; you'll both sense it. Understand that you cannot know what is going on in his head, but you cannot imagine love. It exists and is easily recognizable. It sometimes shows up as a physical “spark”, sometimes as a warm knowing... but we all know how it feels. There is no wrong sort of love. There is only love. It is distracting yes, I guess, but really, it is the whole point. Everything else is the distraction.
He may or may not pursue the feelings in this scenario; yet that does not mean you are “kidding yourself”. It means that he chose something else. That says nothing about your desirability or obsession. It is merely a choice. Somewhere else he chose differently, and so did you. That is how it works. If that is his choice, then let it go. He cannot take anything from you, he is merely a reflection of what you are allowing yourself to feel.
In thinking about both questions, I'd like to offer this. Trust yourself. Love yourself. If things are falling apart or not working out, it is because all of your heart and enthusiasm was not present while you participated. Be clear and be honest and be forgiving and keep moving. Leave all judgment out of it. Forgive yourself and seek always your highest and best. As you approach any new day, do so in the direction of your heart. It knows. You are so much more than your current imaginings are allowing you to see. Thank you for asking.