~ Join me on my Love Quest Note ~
Day # 6. March 15th.2012
Today is our sixth day.
I’d like to talk about expectations. For a very long time I believed that perfect love meant I got everything I wanted. How this looks in my head is that there are never any harsh words, betrayals of agreements or disappointments; my lover is faithful, my children are obedient and my friends and family always think I’m just great. I thought this meant happiness and that happiness meant love.
Yet I found that even on days when all those things happened, I was not happy. This made me wonder about love.
I understand now that love does not mean obedience or even loyalty in the sense that I am the only one loved. Love is something else. It is so easily misunderstood partly because of movies and stories that easily wrap things up in a specific amount of time or number of pages. We never see Cinderella and the Prince with four kids and a mortgage.
We are on this Quest because we are looking for love. Love is something that you know. It is a recognition that shoots through your body. It happens all over the place once you are aware of it. It could happen when your cashier says something to you, your child hugs you, or you meet eyes with a perfect stranger. It does not happen because your spouse takes out the garbage. That is appreciation. If your spouse never does so, it does not mean there is a lack of love.
Now taking the garbage out is a pretty innocent example, and deliberately so. Our spouses and lovers are subject to a host of expectations, of which garbage emptying may be one. Whether or not they fulfill those expectations does not indicate whether or not they love us.
Love is felt and expressed in our hearts. You feel love. You sense love. If we expect love to look a specific way and spend our lives looking for a specific face, body, job or action – we are bound to be disappointed.
Love is not predictable, but it is recognizable. Trust your heart. This does not mean you won’t be disappointed from time to time. It means that regardless of where the relationship goes or went, you’ll know what love is.
This is why we must love ourselves. In a unified existence, you start and end in the same place. Loving yourself - is loving me. If our connection is of a sexual nature we may engage in that for a bit, we may not. If it is creative in another way, we may collaborate on a project or other enterprise. Whether or not that happens does not determine the existence of the love. The love exists. It exists because you do. Love is what you are.
So, let go of expectations for perfection and expect love. You will never be disappointed.
I love you. See you tomorrow!
~Sophia
Today is our sixth day.
I’d like to talk about expectations. For a very long time I believed that perfect love meant I got everything I wanted. How this looks in my head is that there are never any harsh words, betrayals of agreements or disappointments; my lover is faithful, my children are obedient and my friends and family always think I’m just great. I thought this meant happiness and that happiness meant love.
Yet I found that even on days when all those things happened, I was not happy. This made me wonder about love.
I understand now that love does not mean obedience or even loyalty in the sense that I am the only one loved. Love is something else. It is so easily misunderstood partly because of movies and stories that easily wrap things up in a specific amount of time or number of pages. We never see Cinderella and the Prince with four kids and a mortgage.
We are on this Quest because we are looking for love. Love is something that you know. It is a recognition that shoots through your body. It happens all over the place once you are aware of it. It could happen when your cashier says something to you, your child hugs you, or you meet eyes with a perfect stranger. It does not happen because your spouse takes out the garbage. That is appreciation. If your spouse never does so, it does not mean there is a lack of love.
Now taking the garbage out is a pretty innocent example, and deliberately so. Our spouses and lovers are subject to a host of expectations, of which garbage emptying may be one. Whether or not they fulfill those expectations does not indicate whether or not they love us.
Love is felt and expressed in our hearts. You feel love. You sense love. If we expect love to look a specific way and spend our lives looking for a specific face, body, job or action – we are bound to be disappointed.
Love is not predictable, but it is recognizable. Trust your heart. This does not mean you won’t be disappointed from time to time. It means that regardless of where the relationship goes or went, you’ll know what love is.
This is why we must love ourselves. In a unified existence, you start and end in the same place. Loving yourself - is loving me. If our connection is of a sexual nature we may engage in that for a bit, we may not. If it is creative in another way, we may collaborate on a project or other enterprise. Whether or not that happens does not determine the existence of the love. The love exists. It exists because you do. Love is what you are.
So, let go of expectations for perfection and expect love. You will never be disappointed.
I love you. See you tomorrow!
~Sophia