I AM human. Gloriously, exuberantly, perfectly human. There is no better version of me. I let go of my “higher” self. I AM multi-faceted. I have lots of parts. There is one version of me, the one with an expanded view, who has decided to watch me now, joining this life I AM living. My life. The messy one. The one with me in it.
What is going to emerge at the other end of all of this is another version of me. I can call it whatever I want, time is an illusion and Oneness is truth. This means that I didn’t “start” anywhere and there are no “higher” parts of me holding wisdom I don’t yet have. It’s all me, all the time.
What I need are new words. Words to unleash my creativity in a world full of multi-billionaire light beings. What does a world with no restraints feel like? Can I imagine life without financial, spiritual, mental or physical limitation? Can I even visualize ten billion dollars? It is a one, followed by ten zeros. Those zeros, that seem to have all the power, are just a whole lotta nothing. It is the One in front of them that makes it all happen. That One would be me, the force of creation, here now to craft a world without limits.
The whole point seems to have been to drive me to the edge of insanity, waiting, wondering and miserable; only to realize no one is coming. It is done.
There are no ascended masters, galactic saviors or “higher” versions of me on the way to save me. This is my planet and I love her. I AM the Master, the One here to shift with her.
This was the trip I came for. I have everything I need. No extra attachments are required to utilize the power here. The power source is me – I’ve just forgotten how to turn myself on. I’ve done this before. Today I AM here to do it as a human. I chose and was chosen to do this. I AM not alone.
I knew before I came that I’d have to get to this breaking point before I realized the truth:
The only answer is me.
The only place to be is here.
The only time is now.
I am the only one to do it and I knew that I could; and that when the moment arrived, I would.
It is upon me now to find the new. I need words and tools that never were. That 90% of unused stuff in my brain is getting itchy. My ability to create is legion. It’s why I was chosen. I will take the crayons out of the box. I will work some magic.
Now I start happening. Now I imagine eternal vitality, relentless abundance, pervasive peace and wild joy, right alongside no traffic, great parking spots, good hair days and free concerts. Now I hold happy. Now I breathe music. Now I whisper trees. The vision I AM holding is the life I AM molding.
I AM addicted to myself and there is not a 12 step program. I wouldn’t join one if there were. Humanity is the hottest game in town. Everyone is watching and wants to join in. I AM passionately unhappy, dramatically ecstatic and violently loving. I create things just to tear them down from boredom. I run too fast, hide in corners, sing off key and gossip. The human condition is me, and I love every inch and nuance. I excite myself.
There is no better version to become. I AM here to harness my innate essence. While every single “channel” I listen to tells me how cool I AM, I continue to believe I AM supposed to be something else. These voices are reminders, nothing more or less, and I put them there. This entire life is my creation.
I was never supposed to change. The answer is not outside of me. I planned to fall desperately in love – with me. I’ve hidden my magnificence in gold, in others and in promises of more. I’ve blamed my failure on lack, on others and on outside limitation.
There’s no place else to go with this. I’ve reached part 2 – self-emergence. My emotions are the trigger and the best part of me; they fuel my human experience and create worlds. I enjoy them. I watch what happens.
I love to emote, to feel and to push beyond. The angst of my heart is the subject of every song, each story and all of my favorite movies. To dream is my birthright. I’ve grown up inside institutions and ideas that said looking out the window was wrong, wasteful even. This attempt to systematically erase my core truth has failed. I AM bigger than any method of thought.
I embrace my humanity. My emotions are the keys to my power. I only need desire and it is done. I love who I AM; I see what I want and I don’t stop until amazing happens. All contrast fuels creation.
Humans do that for each other. We supply contrast. We give each other sparks. I AM the Master and the answer to every prayer. I know what to do. The reason I haven’t seen it yet or heard it yet is because I haven’t done it yet. I’ve been waiting.
I AM the god I’ve been waiting for.
*A revised version of “The Ultimate Addiction” pub. 8/2013; as suggested by reader Mary from Connecticut, USA (you might want to read this aloud, as she does ;-)
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Your power comes from loving you. It is a byproduct of Agape. Agape is defined 3 ways:
1. Love Feast
2. Divine (God) Love
3. Spontaneous Altruistic Love
1. Think about the word “Feast”. It inspires images of overflowing platters, sparkling carafes and bowls mounded high. This is abundance. There is more than enough. You will not leave hungry from a “Feast”; you will be stuffed. Stuffed with love.
2. God’s love exists without exception or condition. It is not dependent on age or purity. It stands as a facet of godhood. It has been said that you are a god. As such, agape is what you do.
3. This love is not given. It just shows up. Without effort, plan or constraint; Agape is – as you are.
Agape is an eruption of abundance and a feast of your essence. It is self-acting; what you do and what you are.
It cannot be defined because words are weak in the presence of Agape. It renders us speechless and holds our hearts tenderly.
You have not heard much from Agape, not because it is not valid, but because none of us swim in it while human.
We walk here, surrounded by shoulds and didn’ts. We are born loving ourselves and blasting Agape everywhere. With each year we nurture habits of hatred that become addictions of self-abuse.
Agape loves them away, while shining a light elsewhere. Feel the love that you are. This is without a doubt your greatest attribute.
Want to discover your soul’s purpose? It is here, now, on this Quest and in your day. It is to love you so fiercely that no person, thought, word or deed will diminish your love. From that point of power you will finally realize your purpose. You will then recognize your god.
It is you.
Naturally steeped in unselfish love, you accept every facet, habit, version, part, addiction and tendency of you. From that fullness you express your godhood; it is felt in Agape. From there creation begins.
Do not doubt. Know who you are and love. Love as the god you are; with the pure love of your very essence. You are all that you’ve been waiting for.
Thank you for sharing this Quest with me.
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And so this Quest continues…and my life conspires to be sure maximum understanding results. A large and unexpected curve ball threw itself into the mix at lightning speed, whispering – “You think you can just ignore me? They don’t call me an addiction for nothing! Get a load of this!”
In an unexpected moment I was looking at everything I have come to believe and faced with a decision that felt paramount. Would I succumb to self-destructive luxuries? Would I choose something new?
Addictions do not go away on their own. A formidable force, they must be looked at head on and dealt with. Once identified, they can’t help but be noticed from then on, often peeking quietly over your shoulder.
They sneak in everywhere; you’ll have to be vigilant. It’s sort of like having ants. At first there is one. You see it and want to remove it. You may squish it or carry it out of your kitchen, but once spotted, there seems to be a non-stop parade of them. They will not be ignored. They will not go away on their own. Instead they will multiply and return at every opportunity.
The signature of an addiction is the emotion it elicits. Any uncontrollable repetitive response exists to pull you away from what is true. You will not naturally develop an addiction to unconditional self-love, but rather to some form of self-loathing. What you must do is absorb this self-hatred and move your mind in another direction – far enough so that there’s room for new thought. Do not hate your habits. Lovingly place them aside and ignore them. Then do something else. Something equally absorbing.
I work with children. Noah, who is 5 years old, recently became addicted to home-sickness. After 2 weeks of consoling him and trying every approach I could think of (with no change), today I sat him by himself and ignored him. He was not ridiculed or scolded or punished for crying – he was separated lovingly and given some blocks to play with. In less than 5 minutes he showed me this real neat thing he had built and asked to join the soccer game. He decided the crying habit was boring and lonely. He chose something new and left the room laughing with his friends, self-empowered.
No one can love you or empower you as completely as you can. I know it is not easy and it can feel lonely. Yet I am also quite certain that a decision made to love you enough – changes everything. Be generous with yourself. Life is short and there are so many cool things to do.
You don’t have to follow anyone’s rules or ideas about happiness. You have to love you. It all starts there. It all ends there. It sounds simplistic and simple but you have not been taught how to do this or told of its importance. You’ll just have to follow the happiness. That is where self-love dwells.
Your day may include a curve ball, homesickness or some ants and that’s okay. This is life. This is your life. It does not matter why you are addicted or even what you are addicted to. It matters that you call it out. Then place it aside with all the love you can muster, get back up and choose again. Put yourself at the front of that choosing – create something that makes you smile. Love yourself.
You are amazing and you know just what to do. Like my friend Noah, when faced with a choice between joy and misery, you’ll choose love. You know what emotions support you. You understand what it takes to be happy and happy is where you are headed.
Love you, addictions and all. Do something that serves you. When you pick your head up and look away from emotional pain – you’ll look a whole lot better. It’s a choice you’ll be faced with again and again. That’s okay; you knew the drill before you got here. You have everything you need to succeed. We are all here, waiting and ready to stand right beside you.
Remember who you are. You are a facet of Source, a vibration of pure love and a god being human. It is upon you to embody the truth. Not just in this moment, in your every moment.
This takes empowerment. This needs self-awareness. This requires agape. This is the work of a god. This is your work. You are the god you’ve been waiting for. Welcome home.
Thank you for taking this journey with me. I love you. See you tomorrow.
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While attempting to write this entry for today, the second day of our Love Quest, there’s been a whirlwind of life swirling in to delay, well, everything. Please forgive the lateness of this post.
So what is an addiction? It is anything from your physical life that seems to have the upper hand. It is a physical process, being addicted. Those parts of us that are expressed non-physically have no addictions. It could even be said that without them (addictions), this 3D world as we know it to be, would cease to exist.
The movie “What the Bleep do we know?” illustrates this well, here. Perhaps addictions could be re-labelled “internally wired expectations that initiate repetitive action”. They are different for everyone.
You will see what you expect to see and respond accordingly; every bit of it as a function of your point of view.
An addiction to life and a bedroom floor to step on in the morning serves me. An addiction to sadness or fear – not so much. Both are “natural” in that the recognition of them is routine. I expect to wake up each morning after sleeping all night. This feels normal. If I expect to be broke if I lose my job – that feels normal too. Lots of people would expect the same. Yet it does not serve me. It is merely my choice. I will see what I believe is there, what I think is possible, what I expect. Everytime. This “broke” expectation is merely a decision. I can choose again.
The addiction scenario is our human journey. With awareness of Quantum Physics and our non- physical selves, we realize there is more control than we’ve been taught. Habits of emotion are not written in stone, they are “internally wired expectations that initiate repetitive action”.
You can be addicted to happiness, and no matter what your boss, your mother, or your lover says – the addiction will take over. You can be addicted to worry, and regardless of your income, health or current love life – you will fret.
We don’t know each other, you and I. Not so that I’d recognize you on the street. Yet I’m willing to bet that along with your addiction to living, you harbor habits that don’t serve you.
The key to recognizing them is in how you feel. A familiar set of emotional angst is a sure sign that an addiction has kicked in.
Just notice. This is part of you. It is not to be rejected. Eventually, it’s to be absorbed into a you with another set of habits. For now, just define it. Decide what you’d rather be addicted to.
How about happiness? Laughter? Joy? Expansion? Compassion? Hope? Fulfillment? Love? Abundance? Enthusiasm? Self-love – how about that?
On this spiral journey, the same information is understood on another level. We’ve talked about forgiving ourselves before. This time, consider that the thought grows beyond saying “I’m okay” into “I see all of me and I love me – yet this thought inhibits my power so I’ll have to find another one, and I will.”
Just rest there; accepting every nuance of what makes you – you. There is no one who can do so but you. Every thought, habit and action has helped create your current perfection. That perfect one is you.
You’ve come here to demonstrate creation. A key ingredient is agape. Love yourself without reservation; enjoy your exuberance! A god is without doubt, guilt or hesitation. You are a human extension of source energy, a god being human.
You are the god you’ve been waiting for.
I’ll see you tomorrow!
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This is not a Quest I imagined. It is a trip already taken, a beginning. This is a spiral journey – once you “arrive” you see other destinations through the window. These are places you must now go. There is no turning back. There is only a returning.
Each path taken brings you deeper into truth; each step closer not to an end, but to another start. We are starting over.
How this looks through human eyes can be disorienting. Logically, as we’ve been taking these Quests since 2011, and alive much longer than that, it would seem that we’d “get it” by now. Life is not meant to be logical.
I’m compiling posts from these Quests for a book, and reading some from the beginning. I’ve changed and grown a great deal since then. Yet today, as we begin another, I find myself at a brand new door. This is not by chance. It is by intent.
We “get” now that life does not happen to us. Life is only possible because of us. There is this great quote from a book I am re-reading, “The Vortex” by Esther and Jerry Hicks:
“Before your physical birth…you experienced no discernible “relationship” between you and Source. You were Source. While you are focused here… the eternal, non-physical…larger part of you remains non-physically focused. There is an eternal, undeniable relationship between those 2 important aspects of you.”
We are gods in physical form. That much we know. Yet again, we are challenged with non-productive thoughts and activities. So what gives? Why do we look to each other and to a host of teachers to lift us up for a minute or a few hours or days? How come we don’t remain “lifted?”
The answer as I’ve recently come to “grock” is found in emotional addictions. This is not a popular concept, yet is has become a knowing for me, not only intellectually but deeply. This Quest will not be an exploration of why humans are addictive; it will be my understanding of how they work.
Addictions are the reason for these Quests. Your ego is the voice of your addictions.
The trick to a satisfying journey is in choosing addictions that you find enjoyable and stimulating. This Quest begins with a discovering of the unsatisfying ones.
Addict is defied “to give oneself up to some strong habit” by Webster. I like that, “to give oneself up”. Even Webster knew – you are not your ego. Your ego is a voice for a choice you’ve made – an addictive habitual choice.
The word addiction has become hard wired to drugs and alcohol. We don’t think of emotional reactions as being hard wired. Yet we walk through our days without full on happiness or joyous engagement. We experience sad, mad, frustrated or anxious again and again and again. We “blame” the media, person, illness, mirror or bank account for these emotions.
This is not a call to blame you instead. That would merely add you to the things you are finding fault with. This is merely exploration.
You see, after many years and journeys, I have a better understanding of how life works. Even with all that knowing, old, repetitive patterns of sadness and fear now envelop me. They snuck in a while back, I’m not sure when. Here’s the thing about them and all addictions – they feel familiar. They are US. We recognize them and therefore let them in with wide open arms. Unlike a drink or a needle, these addictions are barely recognizable. I only just now have acknowledged I was “off the wagon”. It’s been months of confusion. Wow.
The Quest this week will again be intensely personal. It will be a working through another level of uncovering love, coming from a new perspective. You see, we like our addictions. This is why they are so hard to find. What started as a thought has grown into an emotion. This emotion creates a chemical cocktail that my/your brain craves. The longer you feed it, the more it takes to satisfy that need. This is how emotional addictions become every bit as powerful as substance addictions.
It’s time to stop the supply. We came to embody love in physical form. If anyone can do this, it is us. We are the love we’ve been waiting for.
Thank you for taking this journey.
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It's almost here, a single day devoted to love. I know you've heard this all before, yet there are some countries who apparently hear it more than others!
Here is a Rampage of love, as given by our beloved Esther. Let me add to the mix. I love you. Happy Valentines Day! We'll begin another Love Quest on Monday. Hope to see you there.
A friend of mine once described her grandfather as someone who “treated everyone as someone special, from the grocery clerk to the governor.” He spent his last days on earth with her family. He knew he was going to transition, and called it “the next grand adventure.” He died peacefully and surrounded by loved ones – just the way he had lived.
We are starving for attention, looking for love and desperate to connect – while avoiding eye contact, staying home and watching each other on our phones and tablets. We can’t get there from here. This Esther Hicks clip talks about the necessity of being present with your whole heart before things can manifest. This is how creation works.
This week I watched “Meet John Doe”. Two wonderful monologues discuss neighbors and heelots. Check them out. The film was made 75 years ago! We have not changed much. If anything, we’ve become increasingly isolated and enslaved, yet the title of this post says it all still today –" Wake up John Doe, you’re the hope of the world".
As the corruption is unearthed, who will be left standing here is us. Yes, the shackles will be removed; yet unchaining you won’t warm your heart or open you up to me or anyone else. You’ve got to do that on your own. It’s time to engage, everywhere.
What happens when we look each other in the eyes is we remember. What we remember is our connection to each other.
This Saturday is Valentine’s Day, a day devoted to “true love”. We are not so much destined to ride off into the sunset with one other but with every other. Grandpa Mark had it figured out. He was never alone and his heart remained always full.
February 14th can be a day of love for every single one of us. There is no lack of love; there is merely a misunderstanding of where to look. Look in the mirror – there are mirrors everywhere in the eyes of your neighbors. Our eyes show you the love that you are and that is not scary or reason to avoid them. That is reason to grin. Celebrate love this week at every glance, and what you’ll feel is affirmation. There are connections in every direction if you pay attention.
You are here to love. As long as there is someone standing within eyesight you can love. Not just the one special love of your life – but the love of all, in one special life.
It changes your perspective. Every errand and each outing can be an adventure. “Who will I love next?” You will meet the loves of your life, again and again; each one just as important as the one before.
So get dressed for the mirror and for the next chore. Each pair of eyes you gaze into will gaze back – grateful for your love. Make this day worthy of your attendance. It is. You are here to love; today, this Saturday, every day. You are the love you’ve been waiting for.
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There is melancholy to this day; not sadness, but quiet contemplation. The prisoners are waking up, wondering why there are bars. We don’t seem angry, just finished. Its early morning, not yet 9:00 AM. I’ve been 3 places so far today, and in each there was a hush, almost self-absorption. This song was playing in the coffee shop as I entered…followed by this one… Perfect.
It’s cold. We are wearing our coats and sweaters indoors and yet this paper, on which these words are being written, still chills my hand. The temperature fits our emotional state. The hot cup of coffee I hold does little to raise the number of degrees in my body. There seems no shelter from this. We will feel this mood regardless. Now this song plays..
Your prison status dawns on you regardless of age or location in life. You will not escape Unity. How this works is that we believe what we see and we see what we believe. As we collectively awaken we open our eyes to a new reality. The shifts in energy and focus are all happening because we are shifting. We are not BEING SHIFTED. We are doing the shifting with every ounce of our being.
What is it you want? What crazy, beyond reasonable desire do you harbor? Not for something physical, not for this discussion, but for the whole of humanity?
“THY WILL BE DONE.”
It really does work that way. We are prisoners because we continue to sit in a docile stupor and obey. We’ve accepted the sentence. We remain behind bars of fear and refuse to risk escape.
It is our collective expectation that perpetuates global action. Our numbers may not be massive (those reading this particular post) but the power held in our combined energy is enormous.
The move “Solar Revolution” talks about a single event of cosmic passion. Many of us expect an “Event” of some kind. Many others of us have also dreamt of such a moment, when “something huge happens”. This “something” calls us out of our homes, as One. I have dreamt twice of this, the last time just two nights ago. I see us all getting a huge shot of “love juice” and in that moment, nothing is the same. The prison ceases to exist. You cannot shackle a self-aware god.
Once you know who you are, all doubt ceases. Your choices, actions, words and feelings will reflect only freedom. I’ve sat in the midst of a thunderstorm, intently watching a movie, blissfully unaware that all around us were falling trees with neighbors losing electrical power. We remained unaffected. Point of view decides everything.
As One, we must expect this love-blast, this infusion, this global realization, this game changing “event”. We must hold fast to what is true in the depths of our heart – that we are extensions of Source, upgraded with human emotion. We are no less than gods in our creative ability; master creators, unmatched in all of the cosmos.
This is the song playing now. Not reserved for elders or officials, respect is for each of you. Feel your worth. A moment of self-love, felt by many, would catapult us into an “event” of enormous possibility. This is how creation works. Belief, expectation, manifestation.
Let’s use February 14th, 2015 for some real love. Let’s honor all of creation with respect. Take a moment this Saturday to feel the truth of you. Take the entire day!!! See yourself as a snippet of Source in a human costume, and see everyone else right there with you.
Treat yourself with care; adore yourself. It is by universal consent that life occurs on this planet and everywhere. Let’s agree to love ourselves – all at once – and watch the cosmos reflect that love right back to us. If we expect magic, magic occurs. The prison walls dissolve. We emerge free. Now the fun begins - conscious creation!
We are the gods we’ve been waiting for.
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What’s stewing and brewing in this head lately is this:
A. The being called “god” has no greater power than I.
B. I am the Master of my life, responsible for all of it.
C. What is the difference between a being who imagines itself to be god and a being who imagines itself to be human?
I think that answer may be found in belief, aka knowing.
Although I stopped kneeling to any god as soon as I left my family of origin, I operate at times with hesitancy; struggling and searching for that one thing/person/moment/institution/situation with only my best interests at heart, that/who is capable of caring for them (my best interests) and making it all better. This is what humans do.
If I were a god being I would simply get it done (my best interests). I would know to my core that no one can take care of me but me. I would be entirely self-motivated. Every thought, word and action would serve me.
We have been given the wrong idea about what a god being is and what a human being is. There are differences, yes, but not the ones you’ve been told. There are no differences in ability; there are vast differences in motivation.
This will be my focus for the next while now – not so much we are the ones we’ve been waiting for as much as – how do we do this?
You can feel the Shift. It’s happened. It is upon us to utilize it.
I have said before that I’ve energetically connected to the being I call “Poser”. This is a powerful, non-human god being with no remorse or conscience. It exists to create and the food it desires (its addiction) is worship. Nothing is off limits in order for it to get what it desires.
When I refer to us as gods it is not to suggest we imitate this being. Yet we can learn from it. We are here to create life; that is what humans do. Our creation of life will have at its core UNITY. We are ONE.
As we enter this new paradigm, we will enter it as humans – being. There will be no leaving the physical self – this is earth and the place we came to shift. We will embody our god hood in our very human way – and the entire cosmos waits to see us do it. It has to yet to be done by any beings, whether human or god, before now. You are here for this doing.
Realize all of your examples of god-hood come from non-human beings. You would not, could not be like them. You are to be the first embodied human gods. What will it take to be a human god being? We will find out together. We will learn from each other. We are ONE, and that premise changes everything.
This is our next way to play together. We’ve played the slave game long enough. It’s boring us now. We are done and ready for something else.
I am experiencing a surge of excitement and passion. We are on the verge of awesome.
We will leave behind us reasons – reasons for our feelings/ our life/ our pain/our health/ our wealth. Reasons are a gentler word for blame. A god blames no one. He/she thinks it and gets it done. This is not magic. This is what gods do. We are creator gods; Human God Beings.
So, as you step into your god-hood, leave the word “because” out of your conversation. Say instead:
“I feel ___” “I have ___” “I AM ___” and stop there. A human god being needs no reason. A human god is. You are human gods. You are the gods you’ve been waiting for.
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