a full ride
These blue skies that seem to float above me are teeming with birds. It is spring, and turf wars as well as unbridled enthusiasm fill the air. It is a gorgeous day.
It’s been more than a month since there was a palpable shift in frequency and the changes are still coming fast and furious.
In a single week of March, four people in my family were hospitalized. Since then, there have been several more accidents, illnesses and losses. A lot of us are having a very hard time. Things are not exactly the same; that much is clear.
And yet, well, they are. The backyard birds squabble over nest space, the children at school struggle to be noticed, while the tulips push their way through the rock hard ground in order to meet the sun. Life moves on, it is up to us to keep up with its constant motion.
Letters from friends are giving me a picture of what is going on for us. This is how it looks from here.
Those of us reading this blog and similar sources have been here for a while. We came to assist in this shift. Many of us were called into active duty a few years ago. It seemed that night after night we’d be engaged in struggles and/or battles. These are the Warrior Angels. Those conflicts ended. The choice was made. This earth is ours to run.
With active duty completed, what comes next? What is left? This is the “Boots on the Ground” work we all came for as well, and it’s not a walk in the park.
As these new vibratory energies envelop us, we have to learn new ways to walk without tripping. There are many around us who could use a steady hand.
We know what’s happening and it’s beyond a virus, illness or random accident. Our world has shifted and if we intend to stay on it, we have to change how we do, well, everything.
Those of us used to fighting? It’s time to lay down our weapons. This is not a war. It is collaboration. You will not like everyone. Yet everyone will have to figure out how to be. Together. Not all of us are choosing to stay. That has to be okay. If you are here for the full ride, be prepared. You will be surprised at who hangs with you and who doesn’t.
Things feel different and you feel like doing different things. Honor those feelings. Resistance is futile and throws you into a situation you’d rather avoid. Follow the path of least resistance. Go with the flow.
It is uncomfortable and scary even. There is not a simple resolution to anything. There’s not anyone else who has faced what you are now looking at. Trust yourself.
You came to participate in the shift and now serve as a model for everyone who is watching. It’s like you are on a treadmill and someone is behind a wall, out of sight, randomly changing speeds. You need to think on your feet, access the odds of successful navigation and try a new way to move. You might fall off. You might not. Regardless, you’ll learn what works and keep going forward.
One of the things in my heart now, with all of this pain, loss, illness and physical death showing up is – What does it all mean? Why do some things seem tragic and evoke sadness and grief?
Life itself, as seen in physical form, is regarded as solitary, precious and to be preserved no matter what. In that frame of mind, what is seen as death is always tragic.
This is not as life actually operates. What is “temporary” is the specific physical form – not life. Life is always. We are always. Our relationship with each other is always.
As we cooperate with this new frequency, we’ll have easier access to our expanded self. We are surrounded with life; not all of it is seen with our physical eyes. There have always been among us, those tuned in to all of life – the seers, prophets, psychics and mystics. This vibratory change we are feeling will give us the same access. Trust what you feel and hear. You will know.
A week ago we lost our cat. It was difficult for all sorts of reasons. Yet, minutes after he passed, in the car on the drive home actually, I felt him with more clarity than I had in fifteen years. He was, in that instant, not a ten pound ball of white and orange fur, but huge. His energy was powerful and distinct – “You did the only thing you could have. It was my choice. Yes, we know each other. We’ll meet again.”
I know it sounds weird, but I’m getting used to sounding weird. Guess it’s a sign of the shift. ;-) If weirdness brings peace and a sense of comfort, then bring it on. I don’t’ know what else will change yet I’ve come to expect it. Perhaps I’m getting used to the shifts in speed. I’m not falling off as much. When I do, I allow the full experience to roll through me with all the force that it has; the pain, the tears, the passion, the joy, the anger – whatever. I am here for the full ride.
I suspect you may be too. If March and April are any indication, it’s going to be wild. Hang on. This is why you came. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.
With all my love,
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Link to You tube video “I lived”
Time for a jubilee.
As we complete this conversation, keep a few things in your heart. First, there is nothing wrong about your life or how you’ve chosen to be inside of it. Regardless of what label you stick to what you do, you can’t help but love. Loving is what you’ve been doing in each and every relationship.
There are things you have done or things that have been done to you that on the surface seem abhorrent and/or the opposite of love. Yet, we have come to serve as comfort and/or contrast, help and/or hindrance for each other – there are no exceptions.
These truths do not imply you have to change how you feel about certain things – they are given here to enhance your clarity and consciousness. In every interaction, understand what you are doing and why. Ultimately, we have been motivated by love; we may not be conscious of this.
Yet now that we know it as truth, the heavens have opened for agape. I’ve heard that the Pope has suggested a debt jubilee – let’s have a forgiveness jubilee. Let’s start with ourselves.
If there is one universal action that would alter every relationship we share, it is unconditional self-acceptance; self-forgiveness. We can only directly control our own heart – yet we are One. The ripple effect is a fact.
This day I’ve witnessed a miracle. I’ve watched two people come together and enthusiastically share. Seven months ago, and every day since, there was only avoidance and discomfort; if talking about, not to each other, there was anger. There was nothing positive shared between them. Each day love was intended for them both. Until today, there had been no evidence that any impact was felt. I am blown away by what I witnessed today, it is a complete reversal. There is no stronger force than love.
The shift we went through last month opens the door for healing and the miraculous. In order to take advantage of this new energy – open your heart to agape. Love in a way you’ve never imagined and forgive as if you were god granting absolution. You are.
You hold the key to your freedom. For the chains will be released and our world will change – it is inevitable. Then it will be upon you to release the chains you’ve wrapped around your own heart; no one can do that but you.
You are the god you’ve been waiting for.
I love you so very much. Our next Love Quest will be in June. Stay in touch by joining the mailing list here and following the blog here.
You tube link here.
Maximum capacity - ?
This is about your capacity for love. It is greater than you imagine it to be. It involves no loss or lack. Love is not something you have to wait for or get or earn. Love is something that you are.
It is a challenge to let go of our rules about love. How can you love yourself completely when you know all the stuff you’ve done? When you, more than anyone, know exactly what it is you think about? When even god demands something from you in order for you to be worthy of his blessing? How can you love yourself with all of your shortcomings, faults and mistakes?
The toughest love you’ll run across will be self-love. For if you accepted who you were – without any restraint, judgment or condition – you would love all the rest of us too easily.
We judge because we are told we are wrong. We withhold because we’ve been led along, by the carrot on the stick. Only it’s not the carrot, but approval and grace that are just out of reach. If only our behavior was perfect – we’d get some (approval, grace, etc.). How can we give what we don’t feel ourselves?
If you consider only the word unconditional, you will find your answer. The rules we’ve constructed around love are many and complicated. They each can be resolved with unconditional love. When you consider the truth about love, all of the rules you’ve been confusing it with are put into proper perspective.
It’s not that you can’t love more than one “other” – you can. You are not wrong for loving – ever. Not if you are married or the same sex or older or younger or another race or from a different religion or country. Love is a feeling and it is the most powerful one we will ever encounter. Love is literally the force of creation itself. To feel it in an unexpected way or circumstance is part of its power. Like life, it persists and shows up everywhere. You are not wrong. Love yourself. Love as if it were as important as breathing. It is.
So, the rules you obey may be structured by others who have an agenda. Before you find fault with yourself for forgiving or for loving without restraint – consider whose rules are behind your feelings of judgment. Then decide if they are your rules as well. Remember – to love is your birthright. It is not a sin or symbol of weakness. It is your greatest strength.
There are as many ways to love as there are beings – perhaps more. Love is the most fun there is. Connections are felt with our minds, our bodies, our hearts and our souls; separately or all at once... We are built to recognize them.
When you do recognize one – realize that there is always a reason they’ve shown up. We exist in a sea of love – helping each other in every possible way to stay afloat and keep moving. We are here to remind ourselves of truth – to reflect back the love that we are.
If you consider the word capacity, it means “the maximum amount that something can contain; the ability to do something.” What is your love capacity? How much can you hold? How much can you give? Is there a limit in either direction?
You are limitless in your capacity for love. Any restriction, judgment, restraint or maximum allowable amount is imposed by the rules you’ve chosen to live by – not the love you hold at your core. Be very clear about what love is and what your rules for relationships are. They are not the same thing.
You may choose to end a relationship because a rule has been broken. Just don’t decide that the relationship ended because the love was broken. Love doesn’t break. There are no maximum capacities for love in humans. We are limitless. We contain the full complement of creator love and it is available for dispensing at any given moment. It cannot run out or be partitioned or decreased. It is eternally, willingly available for our use.
We are so much more than we know. The best, most forgiving and accepting parts of love are ours for the taking. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.
With so much love,
See you tomorrow,
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two ends, one stick
On the first day of this Quest, we set the stage for the rest of the days with this: “You are without fault – one unique flower in an exquisite field of astonishing beauty and fragrance. Not one of us can replicate you – your contribution is personal, powerful, solitary and necessary. How you look and how you see has only happened once; that once is right now. Don’t change a thing. “ These words hold truth and an explanation for Agape.
Our journey is circular – it begins and ends within. You haven’t been told of your magnificence, yet it is what you were born with. We love babies because their love shoots out their eyes and oozes from their skin. Their magnificence is everywhere showing. You can feel it when you hold them. They love indiscriminately and are as recently close to source energy as any of us have ever been. They hold no judgments and reserve no emotion. It’s all love, all the time; pure, unrestrained and theirs to give. They don’t run out of it, or save it for a special few – they spray it everywhere they look. That’s what you are supposed to do with love – give it away.
We’ve learned that love is scarce. We even save it for a special event or person or day or place or age. We are hoarders of our love. We are not free – we are afraid it’ll spoil, be wasted or we won’t have enough when the time comes.
What I know about love is that it exists and arrives unbidden – loud or soft, painfully, awkwardly, pleasantly, obviously, joyfully or confusingly. It has no respect for age or color, country or vow. It merely shows up in all sorts of ways and places.
It feels like heat sometimes, sparks sometimes, and chills sometimes; laughter, understanding, compassion or knowing sometimes. It takes your breath away or pisses you off, stops you in your tracks or leaves you with a smile. Love shows up whenever you meet a connection you are a part of. It is felt on both ends of the connection “stick” – so be absolutely certain that when you feel something – the other end is feeling it too.
What you can’t be sure of is what they’ll do about their feeling. Possibly nothing. They may deny it or attempt to explain it or ignore it. Maybe they’ll recognize it and you’ll have a chance to explore your connection. Maybe not. Yet whatever is done remember that the feeling you had was not isolated – it was shared. Love is not a thing to be doubted – it is a thing to be celebrated. It is always noticed.
Starting with you – forgive everything. Release everything else. All holds and chains, expectations and limitations. Understand and embody what was said at the start – you are unique and magnificent. No other loves like you - or is you. There is just one. One of you. Connected to many, in infinite ways; each connection is uniquely yours. You cannot be replicated.
Those you love now cannot be loved by any other in exactly the same way. Sure, they can be and are loved – yet not the same way that you love them. You are irreplaceable.
This circular journey begins with believing that about yourself – and loving yourself as if it were true. Then – with full embodiment of your unique essence – love full out – without condition or restraint.
What will show up is a tidal wave of love crashing on your shore…with it will come choices and decisions – Can I love so many? How much is too much? Is this okay? Is it really this easy?
You’ll answer them yourself yet I can tell you this. Once you understand, accept and embody your brilliant individual love imprint, you will know without a doubt that to “cheat” or shortchange any other – be it god, man, woman or country – is not possible. There is no interference possible when a love connection is recognized. It is a stick with two ends – not three. One stick is not weakened or shortened when another is picked up; in fact we are only made stronger. You have the capacity to hold many, many connections; each one unique and resilient and felt at both ends. So do all of your connections. There is no ending a love connection. More is not a replacement – it is just more.
Be clear on what love is and what the rules you’ve chosen to live within are. We’ve been misled and if thousands of love songs are used as evidence – confused and heartbroken because of it.
Your durable self-love and empowered heart will help navigate the trickiest relationship terrain. To love without hesitation or condition demands clarity. You must recognize your value, and never doubt your worth. You are priceless; a unique expression of eternal love.
You are the one you’ve been waiting for.
See you tomorrow.
With all of my love,
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So, how do you love under any circumstance? Without opinion or expectation, disappointment or judgment? What does love like that look like?
If your love is conditional, then by definition you require those conditions to be met for it to continue. This is how conditions actually work. This physical life is conditional. It requires oxygen. If you take away my oxygen, I no longer have it. I die.
What about the conditions we place on our love relationships? Love may be withdrawn if the following are not met within them:
Honesty - truthfulness
Obedience - dutiful compliance
Fidelity - strict observance of promises
When one or more of these conditions is not met – does the love stop? What unmet condition is capable of stopping a force such as love?
I submit to you an idea that there are none. Love cannot die. Relationships may end, and in truth, through choice, death or circumstance all of them do, but the love? It exists eternally. This love is the force of creation.
This love is the initiatory spark of your existence – it is the essence of source – it is eternal.
How is it possible to stop such power? It is not, we have confused love with many things. Honesty, fidelity and obedience may be necessary qualities in your medical, military and financial advisors, but they are not qualities of love. The reasons they aren’t? Love is not orderly, strict or precise. It is not a pie with evenly sized slices. It is a garden – a huge mess of wildflowers sprawled out on a hill.
We love because that is what we are.
Love is both a noun and a verb.
Love holds no quarrels.
Love has no empty spots.
Love casts no judgments.
Love demands no payment.
Love follows no rules.
Love asks for nothing.
Love is only given, it cannot be taken. For to take something leaves a spot empty, and love is always there.
We do not take love, we only notice it.
We allow love to be.
It is everywhere.
There is freedom in agape. We have spoken before of the fact of our unity. If there is anger in our mind, we may feel it in our gut. It is the same with love. You cannot confine one part of love and have the rest free. Love is either free or conditional.
You may choose a conditional relationship – that is neither loving nor unloving, it is merely your choice. You cannot choose conditional love, not really. Well you can, but it will show up all over your life and in all of your relationships of love.
You see, if you place conditions on the allowing of your love – it is you that suffers. For love is what you are, and by doing so you are just stopping your own flow – the flow of you.
What is at the core of our deepest beliefs about love is an imprint we received as children. Whether through family, church, school or society we’ve gotten the message that
A. Love has rules and they are:
B. You must –
b. Make and keep promises
c. Tell the truth
If these things were not present, then there was no love for your parents or your god or your country. Eventually we grew up and added – your spouse.
We look for validation from others, and like empty cups seek only to be filled. The love we see ourselves getting from them or not getting from them is a label we came up with when we were 5 years old.
Love is not a label. It is not as malleable as honesty or promises or obedience.
My son was about 3 at the time, very bright and a literal thinker. We were eating dinner, having a Friday night picnic on our living room rug on paper plates. There were fresh made cookies for dessert.
After a few minutes, and not much dinner, he asked for a cookie. “You can have a cookie after your chicken is all gone” I told him. He looked at me, got up and walked into the kitchen. He didn’t say a word. The rest of us looked at each other. We heard the garbage can pop open and snap shut. A moment later he returned, without his dinner plate, looked at me and said “My chicken is gone. Can I have a cookie?” We cracked up. He got a cookie.
Honesty is relative. It is not the same as Truth. The truth about love is that you can ignore and even deny it – but you will never stop it. There are no conditions capable of altering truth or stopping it. Love is what you are. You therefore always recognize it. It is what you do.
Think about the freedom that is possible with unrestricted expression of you. Your heart will burst with both the joy and the pain of it – such will be your life. This is the life you are here to explore; the freedom we are here to discover. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for!
See you tomorrow,
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Welcome to April’s Love Quest. What is present for me today is a realization that in a very real sense, this journey is fiction. It’s been constructed now by me, with you, as a sort of meandering… We are not really going anywhere. We Are. Always and in all ways.
These words are maybe entertaining and perhaps thought provoking, yet not leading you anywhere you don’t already inhabit. It’s only this forgetting that propels us to journey. And now, with increasing velocity, we are approaching a remembering.
In four years of “Questing” I’ve learned something. Agape is not a popular road. It sounds good – unconditional love – yet does not often feel good. To feel love under any condition puts the whole feeling in question. For “love” at its essence is not the many things we have mistaken it for. It is not loyalty, or duty, or passion, or marriage, or obedience, or ownership. And agape is akin to the love of the creator – it stands without any condition.
This week I’d like to explore these “conditions”. They seem to cause us so much trouble…
This remembering we are doing will take us as deeply within as we, in our current form, can handle successfully. We stand at the edge of what some would call enlightenment; others full awareness, and it’s up to us to decide whether or not to jump.
There is a guarantee that the water is warm and stocked with joy – yet the way down is rocky and treacherous and downright scary. It demands raw honesty, complete transparency, and candid, fearless exposure. You can’t have your own team or judgment or safety net. It’s only you – all ways and always. You can stop at any point and stay there for as long as you like.
Agape, when practiced, is complete freedom. It holds you to nothing, binds you to no one. In the same instant it gives you room to hold anyone and anything at all. You just can’t keep it or them. Not the way we understand “keeping” today.
Agape holds no grudges. It finds no fault. It has no judgment, need or missing part. This is not protocol for most of our love relationships. We join together now; filled with expectations, judgments and needs. We say things like “you complete me”, as if that was even possible.
We are complete as we take our next breath. Everything we desire is within, we only need remember.
So we grew up with religions, parents, love songs, movies and apps – telling us what love should look like. It keeps score, fulfills our needs, and above all is reserved for only one “other”. One God. One lover. One family. One country. One group. One team. One best friend. Love, as we have been hearing, is a pie; only so big with so many separate pieces to distribute.
Intellectually you know this can’t be true. The creator of all things loves all of its creations. A parent loves all of his/her children. We marry/divorce/marry and “cheat” with alarming regularity. We meet new people and fall in love every day.
Yet to live this way? Out loud? How do we successfully navigate all this love – without feeling cheated ourselves or worse – feeling insincere? How do we love full out? All the time and in every possibility? What is love anyway?
This week I’d like to explore this returning to what is our truth – agape. It is a challenge to put into words. The rules I learned so very young have bound me in ways that I imagine bind you too. Yet I know this: Love is not a pie or reserved for a singular “other”. I know not because I have been told. I know because my heart has loved. Despite all of the imprinting, my heart keeps on loving. I suspect your heart may have discovered a similar truth.
Love is a garden and all of its flowers are unique, beautiful and available to both give and receive it. Agape is our essence. Every struggle, each heartbreak, all anger and sadness appears when the force of our love is prevented. And who stops the flow of love? It is us.
The vibratory shift we went through last month has set the perfect stage for our Quest into Agape.
Unconditional self-love is that “you” that you sense when you manage to reach your truth. It is where you “hang out” between lives, problems and conditions. It’s what we’ll find once we jump off our mountain of judgment.
You are without fault – one unique flower in an exquisite field of astonishing beauty and fragrance. Not one of us can replicate you – your contribution is personal, powerful, solitary and necessary. How you look and how you see has only happened once; that once is right now. Don’t change a thing. Remember. All that you need is available to you; it resides in your heart. The one you must love without condition is the one reading these words. You are the one you’ve been waiting for.
See you tomorrow.
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