I experienced a healing this week. While it was going on, there were times I felt lifted off the table. I saw colors and felt them move through my body. Although my eyes were closed, I saw a bright light poking through, as from within a dark room, where someone was cracking the door open. Beyond them, a brilliant light was shining and this is what snuck in. Afterwards, I was told that the area I was envisioning was indeed where several angels stood. Not surprising, and a nice validation.
What did surprise me was who showed up as my heart was being “worked on”. This was someone very close to me who left this earth a dozen years ago, under tragic circumstances. I was told that sometimes during these healings, other beings we have known will show up to experience the healing as well. In this way, the healing can help more than just the physical person who came to be healed. Pretty cool.
Others were there as well, watching. I did not get names or sense these as individuals. I was told that sometimes this happens as a sort of learning experience for those who want to get to know how this work is done with the human. I was not surprised there was a crowd!
What did surprise me was the area that required the most “work”. It was my heart. I’ve been thinking about this since the healing, and working out why; hence the reason for this post.
I believe it has everything to do with onions. Hang on while I explain.
As most of you, I’ve been doing inner work for a very long time. Those of us who came now as bearers of the light, brought with us heavy burdens. These play out in our life circumstances, our relationships and our bodies as well as our mental and emotional processes. There was a lot we came to do! We arrived here to create a visceral understanding and experience of enlightenment. This can only happen with deeply felt transformation.
At first, waking up was so much fun! The law of attraction and creation was a new toy, and there was free parking and no traffic pretty much every place we went! It felt great.
Yet the amazing discoveries didn’t last. Hurt feelings and unhappy circumstances reared their ugly heads repeatedly, regardless of process or progress. Parking places were no longer cutting it. It was two steps forward and one step back, gradually becoming one step forward… WTF? This was not what I was here for.
There was a time of major ego. Feelings of being the only ones with the truth, created boatloads of separation. We felt different from everyone else, or most everyone else. And yes, better and more enlightened as well.
Time kept moving forward and gradually even the ego seemed to dissipate. It actually did feel as if we were all in this together, those awake and those still drowsy and even those completely asleep. It seemed as if things were not changing quickly enough though. Upon closer examination, it became apparent that there were layers of change. They were being peeled off gradually, much like an onion.
It is easy to talk about loving your neighbor when you don’t have to see them every day, or clean up after the mess they make, or watch them repeat the same actions and then complain about them over and over and one more time. These far away loved ones are the beginning layers.
What is clear after this healing, is that we are at or pretty close to the base layer of our onion. We’ve peeled back most, but not all, of it to get here. These final layers are stuck good. They’ve been here since the beginning. They were hidden so well, that no one was aware of what they looked like. They look like us.
I believe that while I was being healed this week, I was given a peek at the deepest level of me. This wasn’t something the healer saw, it is something I’ve some to see, now that it’s been a few days and I see what is showing up for me.
What is showing up is not pretty. I would have told you, if you had asked, that I was past all of it. Indeed, I would tell you, and this would be true, that I can accept pretty much any behavior or attitude or belief and still love without reservation.
What I am coming to realize is that, although true, the key words here are “pretty much”. And the one that is directing this acceptance is me. I have yet to fully accept me.
How do I know this?
I know this because there is still judgment. If I were completely healed, there would be no onion. If my heart was whole and healthy, my loved one would not have snuck in to get some of what I needed from that healing. She needed self-love, it was not something she had while alive.
Here’s the thing. What I sense in the world is what is playing out in my own body and heart and emotions, as well as yours. It is this idea that something is wrong.
Wrong with the government, with the systems of control, with the opposing parties, with the state of the world, with the parts of me I’ve denied exist, with certain attitudes and behaviors and beliefs and actions and parts and people. I don’t have to like all of these things. But I don’t have to judge them wrong either. Acceptance is not enjoyment, it is merely lack of judgment.
You cannot separate your feelings from your body. My heart was hurting because of a lack of acceptance, a denial. Denial and unconditional love do not co-exist. Unconditional love see’s everything and loves anyway. It loves every part of you, and then, every part of everything.
Our lives are circular. Today we are 3D and physical. We are moving towards an experience of oneness and from oneness we then move towards the infinite potential of the love that we are. From this infinite potential comes a desire to experience self/life. That desire produces first thought and “other” (which is the only and imagined way we experience self) with a return to physical creation. It is a circle.
What the healing this week did was illuminate the remaining deep onion layers that still need peeling. Perhaps yours are different, probably they are. I wonder, if as we each reach the inner onion, we realize and broadcast our light in a sort of explosion. Is this what enlightenment looks like?
We are here now because the next level of the physical is being reached on a planetary level while we walk on her surface. That promises to be an onion peeling moment, with layers unnecessary and all of us realized in full radiance.
We are actually perfect. As this healing demonstrated, we can accept ourselves pretty much and still require more love. I thought I had it; apparently, there is yet more love to give. What is cool about this is that we merely need to love ourselves. As we do, beings from all over experience the love and are simultaneously healed and enlightened.
I am wondering if there needs to be more love quests… some of you remember them… please share in the comments section if you have a thought on this. I stopped them several years ago; at the time, it was felt that there was nothing else to say about love. Perhaps there is.
Know that perfection is not necessary, but acceptance is. Accept that the bit of infinite love that is you is right now everything you’ve imagined, and that is more than enough.
Decide who you will be next and love him or adore her. She is just what Gaia ordered and we are so thrilled you have joined us.
I know two people alive today that I consider Masters. You do not know them. They are not on a pulpit or an altar or a blog or Twitter. They do not know each other. They live in different parts of the world. They differ in age and sex and color and creed, yet they have one thing in common. They are highly connected. Everyone knows them. They are consistent in their search for how they can offer themselves to help you. They do not think everyone is perfect, they believe everyone is worth their attention. That “everyone” includes yourself.
Love yourself. You are the one you’ve been waiting for.
With so much love & gratitude,
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The video shared below was produced over 5 years ago, it shares the same message in this post… full circle once again! 😉
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