I am not sure what instigated it – perhaps the combination of the “Day of Decision” meditation and our Quest did the trick. It was no longer possible to be partially or half way in- I was either in or out. It became time to walk my talk – it was Agape or continued self loathing. I had to make a choice.
This was not a choice that could be made on face book or in this blog. This choice had to spring from my soul. It was not easily made and not pretty to watch.
It began with nothing to say, and then proceeded along with a litany of reasons to despise who I was. I gradually began to speak. I believe my body had a decision to make. The influx of light from Sunday’s meditation and love from everyone here brought me to a choice point. Was I love or was I a ‘poser?
I gave up for a day or so – there was no light. Perhaps you’d call this my Dark Night of the Soul. It felt that way. I’ve had one before, many years ago. I didn’t know you could have more than one.
A whole host of reasons and lovers and words later, I began to feel like love again. It is different now. It feels real. I am not a ‘poser. I am love.
I don’t know if my words will sound different to you, but they sure will to me. Although I have always believed them and known them – now I am them.
There is no outside force that will alter this truth. I know who I am. We have journeyed together through forgiveness to Agape, headed for Oneness. We can help each other with encouraging words, pictures and videos. Yet the real knowing is not found in any of those places.
You will know you’ve found it when no one can cause you to doubt it. They can yell at you, leave you, fire you, steal from you or hurt you – yet they cannot remove from you your truth.
You cannot hate them or blame them. You do not hate or blame yourself. You are divinity in shoes, a spark shot forth from Source, light in a human suit. You are love. Everyone here is love as well.
You are here to demonstrate that One Truth. Self love is the foundation of your brilliance. No one knows better than you the strength of your soul. Show us your beauty and gift us with your wisdom. You are the One we’ve been waiting for.
With deepest gratitude and overwhelming love,
I will see you tomorrow.