This Quest for Love is a Quest for Self-Acceptance. So how do you get there? How do you accept yourself while you are so busy not accepting so many others?
Discovering how will occupy us for the next 7 weeks. I’m hoping to crawl deep into our broken hearts and mend them. I’m hoping you’ll join me on the journey, and contribute what you’ve found along the way.
Because if there is something I’m aware of post – Covid19 that I wasn’t fully aware of pre – Covid19, it’s this – We Cannot Do This Alone. Not with a “show” of support, as in mask wearing or flag flying. Instead, with something tangible, something real, something that pulls at your heart to offer, and that will touch our hearts when we receive it.
You see, we are in the last days of Polarity, and therefore Polarity is emblazoned everywhere we look. Like the last thing that you said to a loved one who then passed away – this moment now is announcing the end to us over and over and over again.
Division is all that we see, blame is all that we feel and judgment is our calling card.
And yes, there are plenty of people and policies that are asking to be judged. They are right on time.
For almost three years now we’ve all been in the process of loss. What we’ve lost is our innocence.
Before 2020, we held some deep-seated beliefs that no longer work.
These were unquestioned. They were so embedded in our world view that they were part of the cloth itself. They’d become invisible.
Since 2020 there’s been a gradual fraying of the fabric holding us together. Strand by strand our biases, beliefs and idiosyncrasies pulled away and showed themselves. In full color and separate now they can’t help but be noticed. If not by us, then by someone close to us.
This fraying and noticing asks us to self-examine. If we are lucky and aware of what is happening, this will propel us into growth. Growth, after all, is why we’re here.
The innocence for me is a very close relative of naivete. It looks like expectations and beliefs that, post 2020, no longer fit. I struggle with expressing these here because words don’t convey the intensity felt with the loss. But I’ll try.
As this is a Quest for love, I’ll focus there. What have we lost?
The false notion that we were okay, but that other people or programs were hurting us, ruining our otherwise happy life, and that if only those people or programs would change, we’d feel better.
In other words, we removed our part in the equation of love, and placed it beyond ourselves.
We out-sourced self-love. And this just isn’t how it works.
Now, it’s easier and maybe more efficient initially to do that. Someone or something else holds the blame for your unhappiness, so that you can work on what really matters to your self-image. Things like your career, your wardrobe, and your love-life. You do so in order to secure this happiness that you’ve been imagining was stolen from you by some “other”.
What’s happening now, and the reason for the Quest, is that those invisible fabric strands of beliefs we hold are now transparent and out there. They have exposed themselves in order to be accurately seen. This, so that the newly woven fabric of you, the one you are weaving now, will be put together with harmony and beauty and accuracy.
The journey to love begins where it will ultimately end. It begins here, in our deepest disappointment. This is a quiet place we don’t enjoy visiting much. Yet this Quest looks beneath every blaming and shameful notion. These are misunderstandings about self, about love, and about how it works. They are nothing more.
For you are not wrong, and you are worthy of love every time.
The best part of our circular journey is the power you’ll realize once you complete it.
It’s the misplacement of power onto other people and systems that has you so miserable. If someone or something beyond you can ruin your day, then you are powerless. On the other hand, if only you can improve your life, that means that you have more power than you have realized. What you’ll find at the end of our Quest won’t be disappointment. It will be joy. To get there, we’ll look under some very heavy perceptions, ideas and beliefs.
For our first week, contemplate the idea of “outsourcing self-love”. Think about the necessity of validation, reinforcement and agreement. Think about the definition of love. What are love’s attributes?
What you’ll do to start our Quest is just look at what you believe, what you expect, and what you know about self-acceptance and self-definition. When you regard the terms “self-acceptance” and “self-definition”, does anyone else show up in your mind?
I’ll share with you a peek into my own journey. Since 2019 I’ve experienced major losses in so many personal places that I’ve lost count. My self-definition is pretty much shattered and that’s because it was based on mirrors, which are quite fragile it turns out.
Today, I am sweeping up those shards of images to start with a clean slate.
This Quest will help to fill it with something that can’t be broken. I hope you’ll join me.
See you next week.
With so much love,
Words of One, (and all of my books) are available on Amazon. "A Re-Imagination", which lays down ideas for structuring our new earth, is also available now. The Words of One series offers insight into what happened, and why it did, throughout 2020 – 2021. (click here)
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