Welcome to week # 2! If you haven’t seen the first post on our Quest, it’s right (here).
Last week we looked at what we’ve lost, and discovered that we’ve outsourced self-love. This week, let’s look at how that happened.
What does self-love look like? Self-definition, self-awareness, self-approval, self-acceptance, self-agreement, self-trust and self-empowered are all components. How, or better said, why would you outsource what is so very clearly yours? What would compel you to give these things to someone else?
In a word, it was FEAR. This Love Quest has been re-ignited because of that fear.
Do you remember when you first heard of the “coronavirus”? What were your very first feelings? 2020 was an emotional roller coaster. It seemed as if everything was in some state of destruction. From the first reports coming out of Wuhan to the summer of riots in the United States, to January 2021, it was a volatile year. That experience was chronicled (here) and (here).
Here's how we lost our self-authority, and misplaced self-love:
The initial shock de-stabilized us. With a quickly escalating sequence of terrible news, we lost our faith that there was “someone/something” out there, guaranteeing our well-being. We began to seek “someone/something” else to assure us that it would all be okay. We were looking for answers. Our self-knowing had been shattered. This was because part of self-knowing is self-trust. We didn’t know who we could trust. On some very deep level, we lost trust in ourselves.
2020 felt raw and lawless and angry. Regardless of who you were or where you lived, some part of you was left hanging out to dry, unprotected from gale-force winds. Remember that frayed cloth we referenced last week? That was you.
The shock of “world-wide out of control” was too much for your tender heart. It was battered beyond recognition and there was no “how-to” manual to tell you how to repair it.
Since then, you’ve been looking for someone else to put your heart back together. This “someone” cannot be the same person who was in control when it fell apart. Because clearly, whomever was taking care of things up until that pivotal year really didn’t have the whole story. For the sake of this discussion, that would be you. You’d lost trust in everything, including yourself. You needed a new plan.
Where has this left you?
It was shock that initiated this loss. It is fear and confusion that sustains it. You’ll have to move past both.
Whenever you feel fear or experience confusion, STOP. Take a breath and notice where you are going (internally) for relief. Are you quieting your mind? Are you reassuring yourself? Are you remembering your truth? Or, are you immediately seeking another voice or article as antidote?
These are relentless times. Inner quiet is hard to come by. Keeping busy with games or other distractions won’t stop the confusion or calm the fear. Only you can do that.
It makes sense that we’ve become a people seeking love and trust through social media and electronic devices.
That is the source of the shock that got us here. “Here” is a place where it seems convenient and effective to outsource validation, agreement and love. It may be expedient, that’s true, but it’s not helpful. Not when what you are attempting to do is to love yourself.
Self-love is felt. It’s not heard or witnessed. It is a rush that courses through you when truth is accessed. It can’t be replicated by any machine or reinforced by any other voice. It emerges. It emerges from within. It emerges from within you.
Self-love is a fragile, precious gem. It can be difficult to find and a challenge to authenticate in today’s noisy, invasive, media driven world.
What does it feel like to know self-love? How will you recognize it?
It’s feeling satisfied, feeling good enough. Not just with what you see in the mirror, but with that last text message you sent, that recent phone call, or the way you ended that last relationship. Because all of these are mirrors, and all of these are you.
Self-love takes that extra minute to do things the way that feels the best and most complete to you. Self-love leaves your signature on every interaction. It answers every question. It is unmistakable. Self-love recognizes that it all matters.
Self-love is quiet. It connects to nature, to life, to every “other” you encounter.
Self-love is this lens on your world-view that adds value to everything you are seeing. It is a recognition of self in your surroundings. It is a bolstering of control and a strengthening of truth.
Self-love is self-trust.
Self-love is not perfection. Self-love doesn’t ignore mistakes; it sees past them. To feel self-love is to feel humbled by its raw truth. Self-love accepts everything without condition.
Self-love is awesome in its reach.
Self-love sees through the coverings and into the core. Self-love is absolute Oneness.
This week, pay attention to moments where self-love shows up. Rather than disregard them as inconsequential, hold them close for a bit. Realize their fullness and value. Watch them and ponder them. Intend to repeat and explore them. Believe they will show up again and again. Look for them and when you discover them, expect to live there.
For self-love is where you’ll discover bliss, and that is where we are headed.
See you next week.
With so much love,
Words of One, (and all of my books) are available on Amazon. "A Re-Imagination", which lays down ideas for structuring our new earth, is also available now. The Words of One series offers insight into what happened, and why it did, throughout 2020 – 2021. (click here)
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